Tag Archives: i don’t do ups

Comedian John Pinette Dead

John Pinette was hysterically funny and had no shame using his original 450 pound weight as part of his act. He often talked about Chinese Buffets, you know the “all you can eat” types, where he is often demanded to leave by the Chinese gentleman and owner for eating too much. One line that comes to mind…(Imagine bad Chinese male accent) “You go, NOW! You scare my wife! Me give you enough MSG to kill elephant!”

Our family loved his “GET OUT OF LINE!” routines. Where John Pinette talked about standing in the line at McDonald’s and people never decide what they are going to have until they are in front of the cashier. Then…it takes time to make the right decision for lunch…right?! Not according to Mr. Pinette, “It’s McDonald’s! The menu hasn’t changed since the 1970’s. GET OUT OF LINE!” “If you do not know what you want to eat then you are obviously NOT hungry enough!”

Recently Mr. Pinette had slimmed down from his 450 pound self to a mere 250 pounds. He incorporated his gym workout routines into his comedic style. When told to do a push up…John says, “Nay! Nay!” “I don’t do ups. I told them that when I signed the contract.” “I do downs…” I chow down, I double down, I get down, but I don’t do ups!”

The cause of death is believed according to multiple news sources to be a pulmonary embolism. John Pinette also suffered from liver and heart disease. There is no autopsy due that his own personal physician signed the death certificate.

I imagine John Pinette has done his one and only UP, as he flew on the wings of angels to heavens gates. He was a kind, gentle and amazing comedian who made so many people laugh, he touched unknown lives with his great laugh and awesome acts of comedy. May he RIP. He will not be forgotten.